Bruised.

Dudes, I can barely walk, and this one's not even the bad leg. The other one's the one with the twisted knee. Ladies and gentleman, I am a gimp.

Don't get me wrong - I've rocked it down to San Diego (where I DIDN'T get to surf and DID get a bad sunburn), I've been for cocktails with Tutu, I spent last night at the Hollywood Bowl listening to the crickets outperform the Symphony during a Beethoven sonata, and tonight I'm introducing Ali G. to her new cactus family - but somehow these stupid bad things keep happening. Earthquakes*, injuries, sunburns - and on top of it all, I can't even train for the half-marathon that I've worked hard to get ready for.

What the hell is going on? Am I the only one who's feeling like something has to give before the whole damn world explodes?

*I also learned that the whole earthquake advisory thing I posted was a bunch of crap that's been debunked all over the place. See, even the disaster planning is going wrong...