Vets and Vogue

My life is weird. On Monday I was on a shoot at the VA Hospital, doing a story about this cool new bionic knee. (That's our host trying it out.) I was surrounded by guys in wheelchairs, in a dingy, dimly lit, and frankly depressing place. It bummed me out a lot - many of these guys were Vietnam vets. Then, on Tuesday, I was at a Vogue fashion show at the Academy, looking at the coolest dresses worn by famous actresses to the Oscars - Elizabeth Taylor, Halle Berry, Julia Roberts, Cher etc etc etc. Sitting across from me was Anne Getty, a very rich socialite. It was not dingy, it was not dimly lit, and it was not depressing at all. (Except for the fact that we got booted from the first row to the third. That was terrible.) And you should've seen the frickin' rocks around the models' necks. Jesus. Being broke and having the best life is sometimes disturbing.

A Vet Gets A Bionic Knee
A Celebration of Oscar Fashion

El Rey

Even if he didn't invite me. Even if he didn't get us all tickets to see Deerhoof. Even if he didn't reserve the balcony. Even if he didn't hand me drink tokens. Even if his friends didn't bake him a chocolate cake. Even if he didn't whisper the name of his alter ego in my ear. Even if it weren't his birthday, Diaz is still the king. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EL REY!

ChooChooChooChooBeepBeep - Hello, this is DEERHOOF

I'm Not Broke and I Do Have the Best Life

So I saw this movie the other night, "God Grew Tired of Us", about the Lost Boys of Sudan, and it was amazing. It tracks them as they leave a refugee camp and migrate to America, which was a super cool thing to see. It's amazing to get a glimpse of what it must have been like for lots of immigrants when they first came here.

The boys' stories are really sad - tragic - but the film somehow didn't depress me. It just made me really appreciate everything I have. Matinee at the Laemmle Sunset = $5. Go see it.

God Grew Tired of Us

I Got It All Wrong

We shot this week at this crazy place, the Canyon View Ranch, which is "a country estate for dogs" in Topanga Canyon. Let's just say this: It costs more to board a dog here for one night than it did to put up our talent. These dogs of the rich and famous, man...I thought I was broke and had the best life. WRONG.


Canyon View Ranch

Girly Clothes Swap

It's exactly what you think. All the ladies come over and they bring the clothes they don't like anymore but are still rockin' and we drink wine and we talk shit but we mostly trade clothes. I myself scored 2 amazing pairs of boots (thanks, Alex), two handbags, a pair of expensive jeans that I had to lie down to get into, a shirt and a sweater. Everybody got something good - a hat and a wicked pair of high heels for The Real Janelle, a pair of jeans that we all wanted but that only fit Laura, various cream and red items for Jeanette, and a whole new wardrobe for Darcy. And yep, lotsa girls running around in their underwear (that's for the boys, since you weren't invited).

Dudes, you should all have a clothes swap right now! You get so much good stuff fo' free. Then you take all the extras to Goodwill. What could be more Dirt Alert-worthy than that?

Our Film Is In The New York Times!

No Dirt, just an Alert - Our film is in the New York Times! It's playing as part of the New York Jewish Film Festival, and it was one of the few mentioned in today's article. So if you're in NYC, go see it at Lincoln Center on Wednesday or Thursday, and say hello to the lovely and curly-headed Sarah Jane Lapp for me. Hells, yeah!



NY Times Article, Beeshes!

Rite, White and Out of Sight

So here's a very practical Dirt Alert: Go to Rite-Aid right now because they have all this shit that is two for one. Ladies, the expensive L'Oreal face cream is two for one, lots of makeup is two for one, makeup tools are two for one, and (ladies and gents), contact lens solution is two for one.

But the real steal is in the cleaning aisle. ATTENTION ALL OWNERS OF WHITE MACS: Our friend Benj has found the one product that actually cleans the dirty grimy ugly schtuff off your keyboard. It's the Mr. Clean Eraser - Extra Power! Benj wore gloves when he used it cause he was afraid it would strip off his skin, but apparently he's OK. We don't know what's in it, but damn, it works. And it's like, $2.79. So your white will be alllright.

Get Thee to a Rite-Aid

So This Band Walks Into A Bar...

Last night the Devil Wind was blowing, the kind that makes you hot and restless, so Miss Jeanette and I strolled down to The Well, my new secret Hollywood dive bar. We were gonna see a movie, but all the good ones were sold out, so we traded in our culture for alcohol. (It sometimes happens.) At The Well, happy hour lasts til 9 PM, so I was downing $3 greyhounds, which we all know are an excellent source of Vitamin C, and I was wearing my You Am I t-shirt, which is pretty much a guarantee that I'm gonna meet an Aussie or seven. Sure enough, the guy sitting next to me was Aussie, and he started chatting me up posthaste.

Anyhow, much, much later, these five guys walk in, and who are they but the great Aussie band Powderfinger, who my friend Jen had introduced me to, music-wise. She's worked with them a lot in her daytime role as a sound recordist (superhero by night), and told me how nice they are. In fact, she said, they were so nice that she and her cameraman demanded that the label send them back, because they'd obviously been sent broken rock stars.

So, of course I went over and said hi and made a dork of myself. Gentle Reader, I HAD TO. This is one of the few Aussie bands that I actually know and really, really like and have one degree of separation from. And it's just too weird that of all the gin joints in the world, I was in this teeny bar that looks like someone's basement for the first time evah, and this world-famous and very good band walks in. So there.

BTW, It strikes me that the last time I met someone famous in a Hollywood dive bar (Kelly Slater), I was also with Miss Jeanette (almost too pretty to look at). So it must be her. Thanks, Missy.

The Well (Don't Tell Anyone)

When Broke Ain't Sexy

Dudes, we all know that I can rock it on very little money and still have a fab life. But then again, I'm not raising two kids on a McJob, I'm fairly healthy, I use the word "broke" with tongue planted firmly in cheek, and I have a pretty badass safety net. (Read: Y'all.)

So therefore it freaks me out that we live in the richest country in the world and yet we've LEGISLATED poverty for millions of people who are willing to work a 40-hour week to provide food, clothing and shelter for themselves and their families, and will never, ever get ahead. You know how much they earn? $10 grand a YEAR. It ain't right, and don't even get me started on how it's the root of most American evils.

So, for Pete's sake, go to Moveon.org and write a frickin' letter supporting Ms. Nancy Speaker Pelosi (rockit, lady) in raising the minimum wage to a lousy $7.25 an hour during the first 100 hours of Democratic tyranny. Even the laziest among us can do that. (Read: Me) And being Aussie is no excuse! Write anyway.

Minimum wage: It ain't sexy. But it's important.

Write Your Moveon.org Letter Here, Suckas!

HERE'S WHY, SUCKAS.
1. It's been too long: The federal minimum wage has now remained unchanged for almost 10 years, the longest stretch in its history.
2. Since Congress last voted to increase the minimum wage, the cost of living has gone up by 25%.
3. And Congress has increased their annual salary by $31,600 dollars.
4. It's too low: A full-time minimum wage worker brings in just $10,712 a year.
5. Less than half of the poverty level for a family of four.
6. The proposed increase to $7.25 an hour would help approximately 13 million low-income people,
7. Most of whom are women.
8. The $4,400 annual raise is equal to about 15 months worth of groceries.
9. It doesn't cost jobs: Real world studies have consistently found that cities and states with higher minimum wages often retain or even increase job levels.
10. And 86% of small business owners report raising the minimum wage would have no effect on them.

Fedexing An Egg

Eggblog: The Xmas present of the year goes to Kate and Dav, who more or less successfully Fedex'd me an egg. Wrapped in pastry. In a wrapper that said "Dude! Blog this! It's free! It's super good!" So I am. And it is. As you can tell by the bite taken out of it. Just one question: Where's the bacon?

Any life in which I get an egg via Fedex is a good life. Thanks DKSF!

Challah Recipe. Just Thunk In An Egg.

Flaming Lips on New Year's Eve

Dudes, I had the best NYEve ever, no joke. I was with my girl Tula and the incomparable Steve at the Flaming Lips show, with Gnarls Barkeley opening and Cat Power before that. The air was filled with orange confetti that I tried to catch with my tongue and giant blue and white balloons as far as the eye could see and the most bestest music ever and Wayne Coyne descending from a spaceship and a gaggle of cute aliens on one side of the stage and a posse of Santa Clauses on the other. Just exactly what I wanted. And I didn't have to run around to five hundred thousand different places or decide who to be with or what to do. And the tickets, while not cheep, were about what you'd spend doing anything else on New Year's Eve.

So, the first tip for 2007: Go to a show every December 31. Just check out the pictures, suckas, and I know you will agree.

And yep, the Dirt Alert is back. I was on hiatus cause I wasn't broke and didn't have the best life. But now I am, and as we all know, I do.

And a big PS - SOMEONE out there in Dirt Alert-land must have a connection to the Flaming Lips. I need to contact them about this little project I'm thinking of. Any ideas? The beautiful person who can put me in touch with them gets a big old Dirt Alert Prize. Fo' real.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR! Finally, a year with a 7 in it!

The Flamin' Lipses