F**k The Line

Dudes, sometimes even when you're invited to the Diesel BBQ/new store opening on Melrose, it's better to just jump out of the line and go get a drink down the road. Seriously, I am way too (fill in whatever) to stand in a line to get into a party where I don't know anyone and don't really care to. I like the fun-ness of Hollywood stuff, but I hate the pretentious bullshit and the blank stares (you know the ones) that sometimes go with it.

Now, you all know what it means for me to pass up free BBQ, but part of being broke and having the best life is knowing when to fuck the line and just go buy your own damn glass of wine.

And why the puppy? Cause I sure ain't gonna put up pictures of the ferkakte event.

CuteOverload.com

Kidnapped In Culver

I got kidnapped the other night and taken to an art opening in Culver City. I thought we were just going down La Cienega, but no! The next thing I know, I'm in a part of town I've never been to, in one of those little galleries that you always pass and think that it looks really cool and vow to go see more art or at least pay attention to the exhibit listings in Flavorpill.

It was fun. The Campari cocktails were free. The art was good. The cocktails were free. But the best part was going somewhere totally random, where I'd never been, where I didn't know anyone, totally on a whim, aand checking out the smelly hipsters and big-haired nerds and badly-dressed true artists who can't be bothered to pose.

Then we went to a little bar next door - I didn't know the name then; still don't - and when we walked in, the first thing we saw was a cured-meat tray, right there on the bar in front of us. We thought it was fo' free. It wasn't. But it was still good anyway.

So let yourself get kidnapped.

I Realized Later That This Is Where We Were

Breaking News...Vincent Chase Is Shooting Around The Corner From My House

This was posted on my door yesterday, and today, right around the corner, as we speak, Entourage is filming. I just drove by and there's tons of trucks and lights and yes, I just saw Vincent Chase. Outside. Fo' free.

Hmm...I suddenly might have to go for a run.

Entourage

Two Of These Things Are Not True

So last night we had the second wine-tasting at Carina y Craig's, and this time it was pinot noir. Twelve people, twelve bottles of wine, lamb and salmon and couscous and cherries and pistachios and pavlova and a spontaneous dance party in the end where everyone wore my sunglasses and got down.

Once again, the one-word descriptions got worse as the night went on, and once again, Josh dominated with his selection: The 2005 Sonoma Valley La Crema, from Silver Lake Wine, at around $24. (Note to self: Bust into SLW and get them to sponsor the next tasting.) I also liked mine, the Fleur de Carneros, at $16.50 from Victor's Wine Shop. It also had the best label.

And everyone had good facts about their wine, two of which are not true. Guess:

- Pinot noirs are a good bridge wine if you go out to dinner with a lot of people, because they go with lots of diff things - salmon and pork and chicken and lighter beef dishes.
- Alex's wine was unfiltered.
- "That damn movie ruined pinots." - The guy in Victor's who sold me the wine, saying that after 'Sideways', the price of pinots doubled.
- Andrew called one wine "slutty".
- Janelle's second wine was made by a dwarf.
- Meghan's wine was made by a bicycle mechanic.


SLW Represent! (And Give Me Free Stuff!)

WACK!

So I played hooky for a couple hours yesterday in the middle of the day and went downtown to the Geffen to see WACK! - Art and the Feminist Revolution. And all I can say is:

THESE WOMEN ARE THE SHIT!

From the Washington Post’s special feature on Feminism and Art, Sunday, April 22, 2007, by Blake Gopnik:

What Is Feminist Art?

(a) An interesting chapter in art history, now closed.
(b) Special pleading for mediocre artists.
(c) A souvenir left behind by 1960s counterculture.
(d) The most important artistic movement since World War II.

The correct answer is d.

THAT'S RIGHT SUCKAS!

Alright, enough consciousness-raising; back to the art: There were so many pieces that it was almost overwhelming, but that seemed part of the point, because one of the things that the exhibit was saying was that there were heaps of provocative, funny, perverse, earnest, angry, naked, good-looking women making tons of art. And you SEE where Britney Spears, pro-sex feminism, PowerPuff Girls, modern day porn (and advertising), the 'Girls Rock!' slogan, and barsful of confused girls in flimsy dresses have all come from. They (and we, and me) have all been influenced by these women, and this exhibit smacks you across the face with the full force of it. It's one of the most affecting shows I've ever seen.

I'm babbling, I know, but I'm pretty incoherent, which is exactly what I was going for. WACK! was a much-needed palate cleanse for someone who's had her head stuffed with words for the past 30 days. (I actually always find that it's good to look at visual art when I need a break from writing - it's good for cross-pollination and fires totally different parts of my brain.)

Then my co-conspirator and I went and had a Sapporo and sushi in Little Tokyo. This is the good life.

So go play hooky next Friday. See amazing art. Chomp some sushi. Drink a beer in the afternoon. You will never be sorry you did.

WACK! Art and the Feminist Revolution

My Mom & Russell Crowe

What do they have in common, you ask? They both knit and crochet. Queen Sonda made me this gorgeous blanket you see here. It’s pretty and soft and Tulita once tried to walk out of my house while wearing it. It’s one of my prized possessions, and I've been spending a lot of quality time with my feet tucked under it lately as I finish up a script (which I'm procrastinating on doing right now). There’s no way I could buy it in a store.

So here’s a tip: If you have friends who knit or crochet, don’t be afraid to drop the hint and/or buy them the exact yarn you want. A nice thank you always works in return, or a homemade pie, or something else you can do as a trade. Or just ask for it for Christmas.

Or have a great mom, who will make it for you just because she loves you while reminding you that you owe her big. Although I have no idea how to score one of those - just gotta be lucky, I guess.

HANDMADE, motherfuckers! And fo’ free.

Russell Crowe Knits!

Art and Cocktails

Dudes, go to the LACMA any night after 5P. It’s FREE, and you can drink a beer in the courtyard beforehand. I just saw ‘The Modern West’' show, and although all of it wasn’t great, some of it was really good. And I've heard excellent things about the Dan Flavin show.

So check it - now that it's Spring, the LACMA is a lovely place to hang out, and let's face it, art is always better when you’re a little bit buzzed. And you can feel all virtuous and cultural instead of just like a lush.

LACMA-tastic!

My Apologies to Attila the Hun

The night that the Griffith Park fire was burning, my friend Tue and I went for drinks on the little strip by my house, lovingly nicknamed The Catwalk. You could see the glow from the fire and taste the smoke in the air, but every bar was packed with drinking, chatting, and (perhaps ironically) smoking people. As we sat there sipping our cocktails, I said to Tue, '"I feel like I"m on the Titanic. This is exactly how it must have been."

But now that we've survived the inferno, I gotta tell you about another one - Dante's, to be exact. The lovely and talented Sandow and Elyse made a movie about a modern-day Dante going through the circles of hell with his trusty guide, Virgil, and they did it all with puppets. It is DOPE, and funny, and there's a dance number involving lobbyists. Need I say more? But I will - the all-handmade puppets, stages and sets are not to be believed. And it's smart - you have to think quickly to keep up with the references, or at least I did. And the Q&A afterward involved a passionate apology to Attila the Hun for perhaps misrepresenting his place in history. Not what you always find in toy theatre.

So go see it, bitssches! It's the year of the fire pig, the town is on fire, and this movie is definitely hot.

(Horrible, I know, but I couldn't help it.)

Dante's Inferno Movie

Pix Of The Giant Fire Burning By My House

Sheet.... I just took these from my balcony. It's a 50-acre fire just up the street from me in Griffith Park. When I was driving up Vermont today, I saw red flames on the hillside. So weird to see a forest fire from the city while driving. They just evacuated the zoo and parks.


Fire In Griffith Park Threatens Zoo

Hipster Maximizer

This weekend it was Hipster Maximizer's birthday, which was celebrated by the first bbq and backyard movie screening of the summer. I don't know why, but it was even more fun than it usually is. The funnest, in fact, and here's partly why: I had this moment when I looked around and everyone was chillaxin' on blankets, full of meat treats and coco cupcakes and watching these hilarious shorts that Hipster Maximizer curates as his special pre-show to the real movie (Dog Day Afternoon), and I realized that if I'd just walked in to this backyard, I'd be thinking that this is exactly the kind of party that I'd always wanted to be invited to. And there I was. Fo' free.

HAPPY BDAY HIPSTER MAXIMIZER!

Chillaxin' With Spock